Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
