why didn't you poke me back
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
