Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize