dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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