:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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