Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
