i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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