She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
