Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
