is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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