Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
