I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
