i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
