There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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