It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
