Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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