"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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