i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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