escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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