He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
