I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
