THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
