My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize