It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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