kristin has been a bad kristin
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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