Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Where is the hickey?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
