addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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