I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
