if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
