hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
