Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We need to rekindle our bromance
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
