i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
