My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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