It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
