adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
