im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
