Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
