Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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