Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
