he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
