Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
