shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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