So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
