Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
