That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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