I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
