girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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