actually, I'm a sock model
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
