Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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