girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize