so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's like God shit irony all over that family
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
