I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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