FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
