I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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