So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
