oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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