I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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