Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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