Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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