Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
