Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
