I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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